Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
can I buy spoons??
February is a fairly heavily-scheduled month for me. there's wine-tasting, knitting group, two different stitching groups, an orchid show, bad movie night, and more. I went into this month feeling pretty good about it. some of these activities are new to me, some involve new people and places. My natural tendency is to be a hermit, but I know I need to try harder to be social, thus the full dance card. And I was doing great ... but then I had trouble sleeping Sunday night, getting maybe four hours of sleep. Monday night I got about three hours of sleep. Ditto for Tuesday night. i was such a zombie on Tuesday that i skipped the knitting group, thinking a quick grocery run and an early night would set me straight. no such luck.
i was pretty down on Wednesday from having missed something i planned to do. I mean, no one was expecting me, and I didn't let anyone down (but myself) by not showing up. I guess the letdown hit me kind of hard. It was a reminder that no matter how much I want to do things, get out, be social, be normal, I'm still someone with multiple chronic illnesses, and I don't always have the final say.
I was confiding to my friend B at lunch today about being nervous with my busy weekend -- plans Friday night, Saturday morning, and most of Sunday! -- but she didn't quite get it. i'm worried I won't have adequate recovery time, pushing myself too hard too fast too many days in a row. No, I'm not running marathons or climbing Everest, but being alert and engaged and all that takes spoons, and I'm not in charge of how many i get, or they get spent on a particular day. I'm meeting an entirely new group of people on Saturday, and that takes a lot of out of me, remembering names and manners and reigning in the snark.
It makes me mad. it makes me want to shake my fist and scream (whine?) "it's not fair!" it makes me want to remember to cherish the days when i DO feel good, all the times i've spent running from sun-up to sun-down without a care in the world. it makes me remember that for as much as there is in my control, there is just that much more that is not.
i was pretty down on Wednesday from having missed something i planned to do. I mean, no one was expecting me, and I didn't let anyone down (but myself) by not showing up. I guess the letdown hit me kind of hard. It was a reminder that no matter how much I want to do things, get out, be social, be normal, I'm still someone with multiple chronic illnesses, and I don't always have the final say.
I was confiding to my friend B at lunch today about being nervous with my busy weekend -- plans Friday night, Saturday morning, and most of Sunday! -- but she didn't quite get it. i'm worried I won't have adequate recovery time, pushing myself too hard too fast too many days in a row. No, I'm not running marathons or climbing Everest, but being alert and engaged and all that takes spoons, and I'm not in charge of how many i get, or they get spent on a particular day. I'm meeting an entirely new group of people on Saturday, and that takes a lot of out of me, remembering names and manners and reigning in the snark.
It makes me mad. it makes me want to shake my fist and scream (whine?) "it's not fair!" it makes me want to remember to cherish the days when i DO feel good, all the times i've spent running from sun-up to sun-down without a care in the world. it makes me remember that for as much as there is in my control, there is just that much more that is not.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
four out, one in
I'm not one to revel in the misfortune of others, but when I found out that Blue Jacket Books in Xenia lost a good chunk of their inventory due to a plumbing malfunction, it was just the push I needed to deal with the piles of books I'd been saving hoarding avoiding dealing with.
Troops were rallied via their Facebook page, and I publicly committed to doing what I could. on Friday I called the shop and spoke to the owner, making arrangements to bring my stuff out on Saturday morning. I potentially had a LOT more to offer, but Lawrence said he wasn't taking retired library books. He has no problem with them personally, but they just don't sell.
After weeding out the retired library books, and pitching a couple that somekitty peed on, I had four grocery bags of books. mostly paperbacks, a few nonfiction. He took them sight unseen, which was a relief. Just in case, my second stop on my errand-run yesterday was the nearby Goodwill, just in case I had books leftover. I did not want to bring any of them home.
I went to Goodwill anyway, and got a top for me, some kid-jeans for a coworker's grandson, and a couple sweaters to be frogged for the yarn. Do I need more yarn? no. but frogging sweaters and knitting scarves are good TV activities, and help me justify my chick flicks and Torchwood marathons.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday bento
Veggies and dip, crackers, turkey/ham roll ups, lemon jewel quark. Not pictured: fruit cup. Lunchbox is the Sistema lunch cube.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
January Wrap-up
January is over, so I should probably see how I did on my goals for the month.
#1 - Pantry Challenge: eat only what's currently in my house for the month of January.
How I did: not bad. it was rough at first, but I did adjust. I made two grocery trips, and while I did buy more than strictly necessary, I didn't have any unplanned post-work trips just because. There were three days that I bought food, two of which were weekend days where packing my own food wasn't the best option (although it could've been done with some planning).
The Numbers: 26/31 or 84%. i call this one a huge success. bonus: it's got my friends inspired to pack their lunches, too, and we're starting to resume lunchtime games!
*~*~*~*~*~*
#2 - Body Practice: Move my body for at least 20 minutes ten (10) times in January. that's roughly twice a week.
How I did: i didn't. Not even once. this is pathetic, and I'm rather embarrassed by this.
The Numbers: 0 out of 10, or 0%.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
#3 - Use it or Lose it: 30 minutes of active decluttering three (3) times per week. That means setting the time, flylady-style, and actually dividing and conquering, not just staring at the piles and berating myself for being a slob.
How I did: um, well, while I found Unf*ck Your Habitat late in the month and downloaded the app, i only got four actual decluttering sessions in, three of them in one day. at the beginning of the month. I haven't actually USED the UfYH App for anything other than amusement.
The Numbers: 2/15, or 13%
~*~*~*~*~*~*
#4 - Financial challenge: come up with a savings goal for the month; figure out a workable budget; set some short/mid/long-range financial goals.
How I did: I didn't. I'm still actively avoiding a pile of bills that needs to be dealt with, and I'm still making stupid mistakes and having lapses in judgement that are just embarrassing. Clearly, this needs a LOT more work.
The Numbers: 0/5, or 0%.
January's challenges, the take-away: Maybe I was trying to do too much at once, and felt pulled in too many directions. maybe I used being sick as an excuse for too many nights parked on the couch. The bento lunches were tons of fun, and I really like having lunch with my friends daily. I could do better trying to use up stuff in my pantry, but I'm getting there.
for February, I'm going to continue to work on these four things. There isn't much else I could add or change, really, so I should continue to focus on these core habits.
How did your January go?
#1 - Pantry Challenge: eat only what's currently in my house for the month of January.
How I did: not bad. it was rough at first, but I did adjust. I made two grocery trips, and while I did buy more than strictly necessary, I didn't have any unplanned post-work trips just because. There were three days that I bought food, two of which were weekend days where packing my own food wasn't the best option (although it could've been done with some planning).
The Numbers: 26/31 or 84%. i call this one a huge success. bonus: it's got my friends inspired to pack their lunches, too, and we're starting to resume lunchtime games!
*~*~*~*~*~*
#2 - Body Practice: Move my body for at least 20 minutes ten (10) times in January. that's roughly twice a week.
How I did: i didn't. Not even once. this is pathetic, and I'm rather embarrassed by this.
The Numbers: 0 out of 10, or 0%.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
#3 - Use it or Lose it: 30 minutes of active decluttering three (3) times per week. That means setting the time, flylady-style, and actually dividing and conquering, not just staring at the piles and berating myself for being a slob.
How I did: um, well, while I found Unf*ck Your Habitat late in the month and downloaded the app, i only got four actual decluttering sessions in, three of them in one day. at the beginning of the month. I haven't actually USED the UfYH App for anything other than amusement.
The Numbers: 2/15, or 13%
~*~*~*~*~*~*
#4 - Financial challenge: come up with a savings goal for the month; figure out a workable budget; set some short/mid/long-range financial goals.
How I did: I didn't. I'm still actively avoiding a pile of bills that needs to be dealt with, and I'm still making stupid mistakes and having lapses in judgement that are just embarrassing. Clearly, this needs a LOT more work.
The Numbers: 0/5, or 0%.
January's challenges, the take-away: Maybe I was trying to do too much at once, and felt pulled in too many directions. maybe I used being sick as an excuse for too many nights parked on the couch. The bento lunches were tons of fun, and I really like having lunch with my friends daily. I could do better trying to use up stuff in my pantry, but I'm getting there.
for February, I'm going to continue to work on these four things. There isn't much else I could add or change, really, so I should continue to focus on these core habits.
How did your January go?
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